Why we indulge in Self-Sabotage

How fear of failure means we fail to achieve

James Halliday

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Photo by Annie Spratt — Unsplash

A few mornings ago, I finished up my morning’s work and went downstairs to make a cuppa. My little boy was eating his breakfast.

Waiting for the kettle to boil, I was leaning on a cupboard watching him. He frowned at me, encircled his bowl with his arms and said, “Daddy not eat my Winnybish”.

I’d not made any moves on his Weetabix, I don’t even like the stuff. He, nevertheless, became obsessed with the idea that I would steal it. So much so, that he stopped eating it and pushed it away.

And it made me think; while children’s emotions are very raw and very simple, as adults we do similar things, although we disguise and complicate them. We get so obsessed with not failing that we fail to achieve.

I’m sure all you football (soccer) fans have watched a game where one side takes a defensive position and tries not to lose? While that team is very good at defending, they rarely put themselves in a position where they can score. Instead, they spend the game trying to stop the opposition from scoring.

Inevitably they lose. Or hold the other team to a draw, which is not much different. The team that takes the risks and tries to win is more likely to succeed than the team that tries not to lose.

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James Halliday

Project manager in live television, background in engineering and logistics. Biker, vegan, dad to two tiny terrors. Love travel, food, walking and photography